Our problems may arise from the feeling that “I am not enough”. Not good enough, not successful enough, not loving enough; or from the idea that “There isn’t enough”. We all seem to have our own versions, I’ve had many. This affects us in work and outside it.
In some of us, the feeling-of-not-being-enough leads to dysfunctional actions. We try to become a victor or failing that victim. We may think that if we become victorious we’ll feel we’re enough, or if we are the victim then at least it won’t be our fault.
How can we experience ourselves as enough? There are so many unpredictable moments and the strong likelihood of serial ‘failures’. A feeling of being enough may prove temporary. To feel we’ll always be enough, to have sufficient self-regard for all time, may be too much.
A phrase recently popped into my mind, “I am enough for this moment, and this moment is enough for me”. A new friend called Heidi said share it. What is it about? While versions of the past and future fly thru our mind in a seemingly endless play, only the present is here. That’s all here really is. Knowing you’re enough for this moment, the one you are breathing thru now, may be enough. It’s also knowable. As you get thru this moment you can experience being enough for it right now. You don’t need to know you are enough for every other moment. It follows. Just remain aware of the present. I’ve talked a little bit more about Emotional Intelligence here.
There’s a second part, “this moment is enough for me”. I spent much of my live re-living the past or pre-living the future. But it turns out that the present moment is all we really have. And it is rather glorious. Whatever may be going on around you, here’s another way to come more fully into the present. Notice your in-breath and out-breath now and again. Here, you have an experience of this moment. As your mind tries to drag you away to “What about this, what about that?” just come back to your breath. You’ll find out it’s enough for you.
The simple practice of watching your breath can change your experience of everything. Instead of thinking about … you’re simply being. And it turns out that being is the coolest experience life has to offer, whether you are being a leader, a parent, or just you.
Categories: Living and Leading